ive got a pack of cookies next to me, no friends to talk to, no job, and nothing else to do, so im ready to simply talk about this because idk i feel like it hahha.

my first encounter with shipping was in 8th grade, so 2012-2013ish. i had friends who liked o. ne d. irection and they would constantly talk about various ships for that band and i remember these 2 girls liked -l. ouis x h. arry- like that was their otp and they went on and on about it however i never thought too much of that.

i think i went a while without recognizing any ships or anything to do with shipping if my memory serves me correctly. honestly i cant remember having any memorable ships for like 2-4 years i think. idk i probably shipped like jack x rose from the titanic movie maybe and some other pairings here and there, but none that really stick out in my mind.

it wasnt until i started getting into alt rock and pop punk music that i started getting really obsessed with shipping, so this was like 2015ish i guess. like idk how but i became unhealthily obsessed with shipping -f. rank and g. erard- from m//c//r and i remember reading fanfiction until all hours of the night during summer vacation in 2015. like they were my wallpaper, they took up so many pics in my camera roll, they were what i constantly thought about, and i literally spent all my time reading fanfiction of them or looking at fanart of them or looking up videos where the 2 of them were like kissing or touching or putting on their ‘stage persona’ , as gee put it once.

like idk i cant remember how exactly i started shipping them. it couldve been a video i saw or perhaps it was the influence of the fandom , since around summer 2015 i started following a bunch of fanpages dedicated to the band on instagram. anyways like this was obviously a very popular and known ship within the fandom and many people shipped them. though i think a lot of people shipped them simply because they were turned on by the fact that 2 grown men made out on a stage in front of thousands of people twice as well as done other things i wont mention. honestly this only fueled my love for the 2 of them, as well as made me even more obsessed with the ship than i already was. i started shipping other ships within the bandoms i was in — such as -m. ikey x p. ete- , -p. atrick x j. oe- , and -b. rendon x r. yan- (basically just band members from the e. mo tr. inity). like and i made a big deal of it , saying things like aLL mY sHIpS ArE gAy like holy frick calm down edge-lord 15/16 year old me jfc ??????????? for a while i had dedicated my life to only shipping these people and reading fanfiction and theories about them. of course i at least had the dignity to respect them and not to unleash my fangirling/fanfiction-reading self on their instagram pages in their comment sections. like i was always respectful of their personal lives and didnt comment thing like ‘[name of ship] IS REAL‘ like thank god i was never like that. i just honestly enjoyed that part of the fandom.

of course now its been a while since ive moved on from all these ships. i follow like half a dozen or so pages on instagram dedicated to my favourite bands so nobody talks about these ships or anything. we all secretly acknowledge the existence of the ships though but none of us actually speak about it. i remember i talked quite a bit about -g x f- on my instagram page ,, like a bunch of my posts from 2015 definitely had captions relating to that ship.

right now in all honestly i get annoyed when i see pages or people who are unhealthily obsessed with that ship. like i myself have 0 problems with the ship as i think f and g would’ve made a super cute couple back around 2005 and so, but even then they each had their own their own personal lives and stuff so ,,,,, but still you couldnt dismiss the ship because it was so in-your-face ,, like it was there and people had theories man they had theories galore about f and g being together or having some kinda sexual-only relationship actually i might be getting the theories and fanfiction ive read mixed up hahahha my bad.

anyways back to people running ig pages dedicated to that ship. it bothers me mainly because these are the kind of people who i myself have witnessed commenting about that ship on f and g’s pages. in 2017. are u that bored ?????? like thats just mega disrespect my dude. i havent looked in their comment sections in a while but i made a promise to myself to reply to these freaks if they ever comment things related to that ship. like i feel that ship had a bigger following up until about 2 years ago like i dunno that could be my own biased perspective. but since its been like 4 years since the band broke up i just feel like people should have moved on from that ship. like i mean ive moved on from the ship but i dunno.

oh goD and another thing ,,, the I ONLY HAVE GAY SHIPS people. c a l m  d o w n. GOD how i cringe when people say that. as i mentioned i used to be one of those people perhaps i lowkey still am however you dont need to let the whole fricking world know that you only ship boys together. like idk is that a fetish or smth ??? like what pleasure do you get from only shipping males together ??? imo there are many cute het and gay ships and i dont really think you should brag that you only ship boyxboy ships bc it makes u look really really bad. like people make rants on tumblr about those types of people. its just ,,,,, like unnecessary. like u can have only gay ships ,, but i feel like if u have maybe 10 ,, ??? ships or more, that are gay, i feel like thats a bit too much imo. like i cant tell someone how to live their life, like if they wanna secretly ship their 10 gay ships then hey thats cool ,, but if you wanna be all up in everyone’s faces like HEY LOOK AT ME IM JUST ANOTHER 15 YEAR OLD GIRL WHO HAS 0 STRAIGHT SHIPS BC EW HET then i cant respect that. i used to be like that. like that statement is a perfect description of me 2 years ago bc my ships were literally only boyxboy and i literally did say ‘ew het’ at at least oNE point in my life. and yes i made a big deal about having strictly boyxboy ships bc ,,, ‘ew het’. lol and 2 years ago i was like ‘i think ive finally grown outta my cringeyness haha im not cringey anymore !!!!’ haha hoe u thought WRONG ive actually been cringey my entire life and i feel like im still cringey and when im in my 3rd year of university and come back to visit this blog ill probably be gAGGING at the intense levels of cringe, but i digress lmao.

anyways idk i have more to talk about concerning ships and stuff but i think ive been typing nonstop for about 20 minutes now and im about to exceed 1.3k words and so i might have a 2nd part tomorrow lol


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